What is college like?

I walked into an environment where I'm not familiar with.
Strolling pass tall gigantic normal people who keeps staring and me..
Keeping my heads held low and my eyes forward
And I know..
I have returned to college...

The excitement on seeing old friends in college doesn't seem to bubble off the tip of my head...
It feels like first day of college all over again..
Just that this time...
It felt a lot worse knowing I have been there for 4 months by now...

Antisocial
I saw my classmate..
My emotions got messed up
I pretend like I'm looking for people
But I hope someone will just recognize me

Antisocial
I keep my smiles up
My emotions still uncertain...
Its like they can read my emotionless face or my weird gesture
My insecurity hikes up to another higher level

Antisocial
Why can't I tell u how I feel?
Where do I belong to?
What am I doing here?
When will this be over?
Who can I look forward to?
How to feel less miserable than this?

(This is not a poem so fuck off)
Why..
Do I feel this...
Feelings of being drown
Over and over again..
When will I be immune?