January 11, 2010
What is college like?
Strolling pass tall gigantic normal people who keeps staring and me..
Keeping my heads held low and my eyes forward
And I know..
I have returned to college...
The excitement on seeing old friends in college doesn't seem to bubble off the tip of my head...
It feels like first day of college all over again..
Just that this time...
It felt a lot worse knowing I have been there for 4 months by now...
Antisocial
I saw my classmate..
My emotions got messed up
I pretend like I'm looking for people
But I hope someone will just recognize me
Antisocial
I keep my smiles up
My emotions still uncertain...
Its like they can read my emotionless face or my weird gesture
My insecurity hikes up to another higher level
Antisocial
Why can't I tell u how I feel?
Where do I belong to?
What am I doing here?
When will this be over?
Who can I look forward to?
How to feel less miserable than this?
(This is not a poem so fuck off)
Why..
Do I feel this...
Feelings of being drown
Over and over again..
When will I be immune?
January 06, 2010
Alvin and the Chipmunk 2!
I just noticed
Whenever I'm with Siew Wei in the cinema, if she is laughing, I want to laugh too ^^
No matter how bad the movie or manga is!
Imagine I actually opened a random manga link and chatted with her about it..
It suddenly became so fun and entertaining, even if its normal...
With that said...
Alvin and the Chipmunk 2 in my opinion is bad...
Aside from being completely meaningless, it's just another sequel which is not worth making, or should I say it's made to absorb popularity from the prequel.
The villain was pathetic..
Alvin was predictable.. The whole I'm going to follow the jocks and forget about my brothers...
How many thousand time have we seen that already?
Most of the song were out of place....
Aside from "Right round" when they were spinning in the bowl....
Toby= completely useless character....
So much of the character, story lines and scenes were unbearable..
I truly enjoyed the first one, which was refreshing to see singing chipmunks!
But chipettes?
The story is just too dull...
Well, thumbs up on the adorable side of the chipmunks... "THEADORE" only.. cough cough
Thank god I watched it with Siew wei, or I might had cry all the way out of the cinema..
What is right and what is wrong?
_________________________________________________
She said, "I hate it when my friends meddle with my relationship. They just screw me up! Why can't they just M.Y.O.B"
He said, "Who is this unknown number asking me about a girl I just met?"
The forgotten past
She said, "I just don't understand him anymore. I'm worried, scared, and yet excited! Help me to figure it out..."
They said, "What should we do? She is practically dying... She stopped caring for her life... Should we help her out?"
She said, "OMG.... Let me know what you sent"
He said (to his convenience), "Why are they harassing me with questions I don't know how to answer? Can't they like MYOB?"
He said (to his convenience), "Thank you, they. I would have been kept in the dark if you didn't help out. If this work out, you are our best man."
They said, "Why are they so unhappy with me now that things didn't work out? Am I a con man?"
She said, "Why didn't you guys help me out when I needed you? I was suffering all alone and you guys were some genius bystander."
They said, "You told us you want friends to stay out. This is your problem. Not ours."
She said, "What friends are for, fun and joy and that is just about it."
He said, "I don't understand her, do you know what is happening?"
They said, "Go ask her yourself. What I know is not something you need to know from me."
He said, "If you are not willing to tell, I will just have to find someone else."
He and she said, "It would be better if there is someone I could talk to."
They said, "Should we throw ourselves to them or keep everything to ourselves."
We said, "I just helped hooked up my friend's crush, they are thankful now"
They said, "You got lucky. You made a fruitful bet."
We said, "They just broken up and they are blaming me for seducing the other one."
They said, "They will blame the grass if they could if things doesn't work out. Lets go yum cha instead"
January 05, 2010
Expressing what is real
I blog only for profits...
Then I lost interest and that was that...
Recently I have been reading up on blogs...
Noticing how much a person is willing to spill in their blog, becoming so bloody honest and comfortable with telling everything, they literally used blog as another diary....
Well, a diary we wish to be read by the others....
It seems boring... But it helps the others to understand them better....
So I tot of giving that kinda of writing a go....
To see if it would help me or the others at all...
__________________________________
5 November 2009
"I have been ***************************** for 18 years already! weeee"
I caught myself subconsciously saying it out loud, with the sigh of relief...
Shocking... I don't want to admit it but it might actually bothers me to acknowledge that...
We are all talking about a heated topic...
At first I tot of all the ways I need to approach a relationship issues
Trying to reason out why its ok not to cry for a guy....
But when my advice becomes useless, I feel so annoyed and irritated...
I don't know how to face relationship issues...
How to advice a person to calm them down
Or to know what is right or what is wrong to everything...
All this while I might have thought I missed out in getting a boyfriend at younger age...
But after seeing one problem after another in relationship...
I need to look at god and say thank you for all the fateful avoidance in relationship...
Its not that I expect relationship to be awfully smooth and harmless..
It's just that if one day I look at the mirror and caught myself crying helpless day after day...
my already small eyes will get uglier than ever!
can I really risk that for a guy??
Hmmmmmm
January 03, 2010
Gapz Garden Review!

There are three types of manga??
They have similarities in the drawing...
Yet contrasted differences...
Manga- Japanese comic
Manhwa- Korean comic
Manhua- Chinese comic
I recently only noticed the last category ^^
You will notice that Manga got simple and less detailed drawing while Manhwa got the overly dramatic details on the drawing...
Manhua on the other hand, like the one you can see in the example picture, is harder to tell the differences.
The only thing I noticed is that the mangaka for manhua actually bothers to switch the character's hair over so frequently you may at times mistaken them for someone else...
Maybe it's only for this manhua but the other manga I read so far will not emphasize on the changes in hairstyle or even dressing to emphasize on a certain characteristic based on their style...
________________________________
Gapz Garden
http://www.mangafox.com/manga/gapz_garden/
I love the story becoz of these few lines..
"How come I can't even be honest when I'm writing my own diary?"
-happens the moment when the hero read the heroin's diary about her love interest for another one... When she skipped his name in her diary...
"I will force myself to dance with everyone tonight... Just to get my chance to have you dance with me.."
-When the heroin still doesn't know the guy likes her because he bullies her all the time.
"Could I open up myself to you now? Could you understand the hug I gave you before and now?"
-When the hero thought the one he loves likes the heroin..
"Even if the one who wrote to me used the name Lily, I know the one who had written it is you, Julie"
-When the hero's brother found out that the step mother forced the adopted sister to be the penpal of the brother.
The story is damn good I ensure you...
A manga that made me laugh, depressed, confused and enlighten...
It is really impressive..
Using mental illness in between the story line..
And the ending.... eventhough there are unwritten outcome of the relationship, the mangaka left the story with a perfect ending ^^
December 20, 2009
Out of the blue
Would determine the end of civilization
Which would leads to dooms day
Go figure...
I see similarities in my daily communication
First talk
Get into a topic I wish to talk about
If the person agrees with me.. I would probably emphasize on it
If the person don't... I would 'attempt' to relate to their theories and try to use metaphor to help them understand why I would hold my theories this way...
In a way...I would say I listen to get points to argue back...
It made it very difficult for me to talk to a certain people these days when my overly logical metaphor and ideas are not accepted because they would prefer no argument..
They would see argument as a sort of hindrance to human communication..
And would look for toleration and silence instead...
For me.. I see them as negligence. Another sort of ignorance...
Do I follow the theories "the less you say the more you learn" and "ignorance is a bliss"
or would stand strong to your believe be more righteous?
I don't want to appear ignorant..
Nor do I wish to be stubborn..
Human communication..
Is indeed harder than I once thought...
December 02, 2009
The Undecided
Tensed tensed!
As I face yet another drama in life....
XD ( I wanted to write trauma at first but then ppl might say I don't know how to weight problems at all.... teehee)
Anyway...
When I was little....
My vacations, education, decisions and probably everything I see and do were all decided by adults....
So now I'm finally 18 years old...
Where all the you are still young excuses will never stop me from doing what I love...
Thus, I'm granted freedom on everything I do...
Freedom.. is a like power to me because every steps I take are all on me from now on....
Well, power always comes with great responsibility....
The responsibility to be rational...
You see.. I will be having my mid holidays soon this coming december....
And I have been anticipating for this trip to Singapore like no one else...
Because this might be the first holiday I ever had so far from home without and supervision..
Aside from that, my initial plan was to get some clothes for Chinese New Year and accessories because satya said things there are a lot cheaper with more variety....
CHEAP? VARIETY?
Those are like words from god for me..
I have been trying to change my closet for ages and now I finally got my chance to do it with my friends, could god be this generous with me??
I was so excited till the extend where I have been walking around from malls after malls looking at clothes I love but hesitated to buy because of this trip...
"Oh boy.. what a rip off... I'm sure Singapore has better offer.."
I even went up to most of my cousins and close friends and asked them a long ^^
I knew such wonderful trip wouldn't come without a price....
I have an expired passport that needs to be renewed..
That would cost me around Rm 300-500... I'm not sure about the price yet but to keep my hopes up.. lets say it's RM300....
Fine...
Add with travel tickets... It would total up to RM500 before even calculating the price for my food, shelter, and most of all my shopping....
Minimum expenses would be at least around RM1000.....
And since I'm a girl with her freedom and responsibility..
Most likely I would have to bear the whole thing on my own....
Lets put RM1000 with my main purpose together to see if it makes sense...
RM1000= Cheaper chinese new year baju....
doesn't right?
I know...
I wouldn't even spend RM500 on my CNY baju.. apatah lagi RM1000...
But I can't be stuck keeping the money forever right without any vacation?
One day... I will be using those money too....
My passport, eventually have to be renewed too..
My clothes... eventually also have to buy...
My excitement is in a mixture of disappointment and confusion now till I can't think rational...
Some asked me if this vacation is really worth it...
If a teenager at my age... Really needs a vacation when she couldn't even earn her own money to begin with...
To get the story my way.... I said if I don't take my holiday now, when my degree, internships and working life gets started, I might add another few more years before I even dream about holiday..
But don't I sound irrational and selfish already?
Maybe I should think about all the poor children in cambodia or myanmar who couldn't even get a proper home to begin with..
Why do I need to think so much?
I hope I'm more stubborn and reckless than to be on the border now...
To add to another stress, I was planning to join fitness first the moment my holiday begins... That will already cost me a lot but part of me really felt I need it...
I have been slumpy, unhealthy, lazy and tired recently...
I'm not even allow to go pa san alone because they think the whole world is too dangerous...
People I ajak to go swimming, gym, jogging and all...
are often only free on the weekends and at times would even reject the offer because of many reasons.... I understand that... that is why... I need to do this on my own right?
Which makes fitness first perfect... Anytime I want and alone if I must...
So I finally settle down with fitness first idea... Safe, a proper place, too many people to be dangerous....
But.. If I add singapore trip which will be RM 1000 and the whole fitness first thing annually would be RM1000.... That would be RM2000 dy! what about all my other plans???
Gah.... But I really want to go ><
Am I... Wanting too much??
September 19, 2009
I slept when I was in the car. And it banged.
My body launch forward waking me up from my terrible 5 second nap....
What have I done???
(please ignore all the dramatic way of explaining.. this is real!)
I smashed and hit on the car ahead when I was doozing off in my car...
Before I could register what happen and what to do...
The owner of the car ahead walked out of his car furiously..
Look at his car.. Look at me.. Look at his car.. and walk to me..
Crap... When I was about to open my door to get out.. He walked pass me and to my bumper.. Took down my car number and details, walk pass me again and said
"I will report this to the police."
I was still blur of what to do and how to react when he walked back into the car...My mind was preoccupied with the thought of...
- Damn why didn't I sleep for the pass 29 hours....
- Sob.. I shouldn't be sleeping.. but I was out of control..
- Police station? What will happen to my licence??
- Will this car burst into pieces...
- WHAT WOULD MY MOM SAY...
- great who should I call now
- Hmmm I wonder if satya could help...
- But my mom would know sooner of later... God..
- Can the man just take my bribe..
- Crap.. my wallet only have RM15 left...
- Great.. What about credit card??? WEEEEE
- Omg.. I didn't bring my credit car..
- Fuck... I hate driving...
My thoughts was interrupted when the man ahead suddenly came out of the car, telling me to follow him.
Back to my thoughts...
- Great now he want to bring me to police station straight...
- Now I got to call my dad.. No choice dy.. Screw it..
- Why am I in bangsar village??
Apparently, he didn't just not send me to the police station, he directed me to a mamak in bangsar village where we talk about how to settle the situation. We successfuly negotiated to settle this without the police knowing and as soon as possible. He suggested me to keep my car there in bangsar village while he brought me back to my dad to make sure we don't get lost. He was really nice in handling the situation. Trust me, I was about to burst into tears when I was there in the mamak when he did all the talking...
After accountering with him. I noticed he is a very nice uncle. Really really nice. How often you have your nice new car smashed by another person and you tell her it's alright because car are just another form of material, we don't have make a fight out of it. He even told me about the experience of being angry in this whole matter and stuff. He was so understanding and nice to me.... Making the overly stressed me to not cry at all... It was really uncomfortable in that situation because I depended on him to bring me to my dad's office using gprs and also bring me back to the place to get my car and direct me out of the place..
Hopefully next time when I drive and I got into this type of situation when I became the victim, I will keep a cool head and handle this professionally. In the weirdest way, I'm thankful I encountered him and no one else. Imagine if it was gangster? God, you are very nice to me. Thank you. I learnt my lesson well...
September 17, 2009
I can't be so stubborn
I need to apologies for my lack of consumerism attidude and for not giving Croc.Inc a benefit of a doubt...
Alright.. I'm referring to my previous post http://genuinegesture.blogspot.com/2009/08/so-what-is-crocs-today.html that I have written on Crocs genuine shoes's on the street...
The "apparent" truth is out...
http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2009/9/7/lifeliving/4640755&sec=lifeliving
The Star newspaper has already announced and clerified for Croc.inc that the crocs that has been selling like hot cakes in Pasar Malam are completely.
You can refer to http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2009/9/7/lifeliving/4603134&sec=lifeliving on how to tell a genuine crocs from a fake one...
I made a mistake on shopping..
Guess I lost in the bet I made agaisnt myself in interpreting news..
Why would I suddenly come up with this blog post?
I have been checking out of my nuffnang keyword tracker on how people reach my blog and it's apparently they key in "Crocs in pasar malam" on google to look for me.. weee
I planned not to post about this because I'm too stubborn to admit I'm wrong. This sucks. But I'm not all wrong.. =P that I'm sure.
But my previous blog post was mainly about Croc.inc financial difficulties and the information I provided there are still accurate.. So don't have to start thinking I'm picking up things from mid air to post it up in my blog.. =P
In my humble opinion.. If you have been wearing fake crocs for days and didn't notice it is fake for so long..... Just wear it.. It's still comfortable and affordable.. Just a lot cheaper =D no harm alright..
_________________________________________________
Think about this:
The media can tell us just about anything. The accuracy are always doubtable cause after all, it's the journalist who wrote it. They are just people and they aren't god. We read and we think we know it all, psssh, we are being controlled by the media. So this latest news from crocs, are the real? Could the Star be right? You be the judge.
September 15, 2009
If you think rice facial wash is good, you never tried semen XD
Hey if you have such thoughts or even close...
Don't worry you have SK-2!
"But SK-2 is expensive.. who doesn't know those Rice facial wash is good...."
Muahahhahah! Smart and good reply! I expected that from you! The true secret is semen!
Seme

Semen
Semen
Semen
Semen
Semen
Semen
Semen
Semen
SEMEN
I'm not effing with your mind! I'm like super serious with you right now...
Semen do keep your face white and smooth!
Well at least now we know we can all keep man by ourside for more commercial reasons...
But wait...
If these info are so genuine...
How come there isn't any product which are using sperm as their main ingredient?
HAHA
that is where we are all wrong...
Sperm are indeed used for a certain beauty products!
- A sperm moisturizer product is famous and publically sold in Mexico! quoted from Ananova
- Bull semen Hair Conditioner. Click here for more info.
- "Do you want long, thick, model-like hair with lots of volume and shine without taking a trip to Great Britain? Check Out http://www.kevis.com/ " Quoted from here
- A Hari's Salon in London offers clients a 45 minute £55 bull semen conditioning treatment. Quoted from the same web above..
Hahaha.. the things you learn from internet.
Keep in mind that only healthy semen are good for your skins.. Technically.. I believe not many guys have it.. xD so don't make risky bets....
Anyway.. It's not like I'm suggesting everyone to go save their money on facial products and even hair conditioner by depending on their guys now... Personally, it's gross and disgusting to even have that thought in mind.. So just do whatever you think is right and don't miss use this informations.. Toodles...
ps: I'm addicted to gossip girls...