In the Middle Of the Night

I think since 26 February....
I haven't been going to clubs for months!
Then there was

Hanyao's Birthday- Mist (June)
Satya's Return- Maison (July)
and then there was
Andrew's Birthday- Quattro (July)

When I first started clubbing again...
The whole experience was so awkward..
Like it was the first time for me to go club again..
excluding the fact that I dressed like a slob (well I used to be bothered)
I was there just to look after bags, I don't dance, I don't drink.. I was practically emo-ing without a reason.

It felt like I was held back by fear, confusion, and disgust, during the first time


THEN, there were Maison and Quattro...
My usual circles of friends who loves to party hard and have fun...
I was still held back on drinking but I definitely broke a few sweat from dancing the wholeeeeee night =D


But it is quite fun dancing, camwhoring, acting like idiots, watching my drunk friends acting like idiots, doing a little dare and just lose yourself with your friends =D

Alcohol still taste bad, guys hands are still itchy, my dance moves degraded further from it's original standard which was bad and drunk friends are still hilariously interesting... =D

Nothing changed much...
Only I did...

At times I wonder if I would stop doing the things I love...
Just to meet up the expectations in the name of love...
Believing it wasn't me...
Pretending I was just right for him...(or her)

Random Things I See Today =D

Today, I suddenly feel like... You know, being polite...
I came across a toll and somehow, naturally I uttered the word thank you to the girl inside the booth....
BUT, I think I have been talking to myself all too often....

After saying thank you (like really politely and softly)...
It goes on like this....

"AH thank you for..... crap, what for? for taking my money.. The money I'm paying for street lights that go off almost ALL the time and potholes everywhere... They should really thank me for giving them money for no reason.. YAH... yah... They should...WHY AM I GIVING THEM MONEY... zzz why.... what they do with toll money ar? OH, so hot is on radio!...."

Then I went home, sleep all...THEN PERGI GYM!
Gym is filled with guys with good bodies... Why are they going gym? zzzz

Anyway when I was driving home right, on super speed (normal 40, speed 60=P housing area la) , then something cute and fluffy just jumped on the street!
Its a tiny weeny little kitten playing with the cockroach! SO ADORABLE!
I paused to stare at it for a while, while HIGHLIGHTING the kitty....

IT DIDN'T EVEN MOVE WEI!
cute can take over the street meh!
Then I waited patiently for it to leave, talking to myself once again...

"You think everyone so nice to animals meh... The other cars may just do some animal population control on you... zzzz careful mah.... cockroach got gold meh.... Gold.... Why gold??"

^^ My day is good...
The drawings may be bad XD
But the day is definitely good ^^

So many conversations I enjoy...

I like having conversation which is productive..
It doesn't mean I don't enjoy having stupid conversation over a fly..

I like having mutual interest in conversations we have together...
It doesn't mean having disapproving impression is bad as well...

The things I'm related to may not be all perfect...
But it doesn't mean I will shut up when anything from my side is being insulted...

I'm NOT COMFORTABLE when things I believe in are talked badly about...
It definitely means I will intent to correct the situation....
I feel something is missing from a bias situation... Is it wrong to try un-mislead you?
I felt you found a hate for something which may not relevant... I explain it to you la.. OMG...

Stop me if you must and say something....

But shutting me half way and leave out of no where is just irrelevant...

Explain yourself...
If you feel uncomfortable... SAY IT..
don't put lots of hate words to decorate your unsatisfactory...
And with an awesome finale..
LEAVING JUST LIKE THAT...

Indeed I should be understanding when you are disappointed with your own situation...
But if my moral support got to come from agreeing with bias statement..... Hey, I can't do it...

I'm so sorry for bringing up your scar
I have no idea what you can do about it...
BUT
ONE THING I KNOW U CAN'T DO
and expect me to be all so kind about it...

LEAVE
"OK BYE"

OMFG...
I think I got stuck in such situation for all so long at times I wonder if I should just close my eyes on them and think of it as if its nothing.. I DO... I do at times believe those are nothing...

Delusional... we get them all the time don't we?

So even if u didn't block...
You left didn't you? Do you get me now?

Conclusion; You know I think a lot.. Shutting me off half way... Will not stop me =D

Don't Take Salad Lightly

Before I go any further...
I'm not on starvation diet...
Or any overly healthy diet XD

I was out with Fatimah that day and I turned up 5 hours earlier than our expected time....
It took me 3 hours to realize I shouldn't wait for dinner to fill up my hungry stomach...
So I ate an hour earlier in Starbucks =D
(I reckon their English Muffin is not as good as always)
So obviously if I ate 1 hour before actual dinner...
My stomach wouldn't be available for any food kan by 7.30? XD

SO RIGHT....
I ordered Caesar Salad, to not make it look so bad for us, sitting there and aren't eating anything...

Turns out to be my worst idea on earth!
How can you order Caesar Salad in a place that prioritize Chicken???
The cheese were TOO THICK and every bite makes you feel like you are swallowing your own puke...
BLUEK...
And what more....
It cost me RM9.90 and as usual.. I would like to maximize my profit... So I decided not to waste my money and finish it up...

I ordered a bowl of hot water.. (which the waiter took few hours to figure out what the hell I wanted)
And I dipped every veg into the hot water to wash away the cheese and just eat the veg...
After finishing half of it... I couldn't bare dipping it in any more and stopped eating overall...

I guess the way I ate must have raised the brows of the waiters over there...
Avoiding the risk of other customers seeing my dish, they offered to clear up my unfinished salad while my friend who had already finished hers was not offered the same idea.. xD

It taste bad.. BOOHOOO!

And I got diarrhea the next morning...
FOOK





This my friend =D
Is a salad made by mua!
XD
There are sexy cherry toe-may-toe, lovable yet sassy apple, strong and vicious cucumber, and the purple color thingy that I have no idea what the hell is that but I reckon it is pretty hard to dice it! (do tell)

LOOK LOOK...
celery is good for health but I won't eat it unless I can barely taste it..
So I diced up to make sure it is the smallest in size...
If u are one of the minority, you can't be one of the best right? XD

Aren't toe-may-toe pretty? ^^



I LOVE COLORS!
You see... I'm no professional salad maker
but I know the tip... don't put too much lemon in it...
XD
I added mayo, salt, pepper, olive oil, parsley leaves and some random stuff I found in the kitchen!
Natural talent I'm telling you...
It taste a lot better than I thought.. XD
Mystery of random ingredients.. XD I won't know what to do if I were to make this the second time... XD
My mom loved it too! do try and tell me the exact ingredient u guys got! XD

Trouble finds its way to me

I'm sorry for not supporting you
I'm sorry for not looking out for you
I'm sorry for not deciding for you
I'm sorry for not understanding your feelings
I'm sorry for misleading you
I'm sorry for not stopping you when I could
I'm sorry for making you cry

But most of all
I'm sorry for not noticing my mistakes before....

Now
I'm terribly sorry for deciding for you
I'm terribly sorry for blindly supporting you
I'm terribly sorry for not letting you cry
I'm terribly sorry for pampering you
I'm terribly sorry for assuming that you are ok
I'm terribly sorry for not letting you fall and learn on your own
I'm terribly sorry for thinking the worst for you
I'm terribly sorry for thinking you are weak and sick

But most of all
I'm terribly sorry for not noticing my mistakes again like before

Maybe
I might never regret deciding for you
I might never regret introducing things to you
I might never regret pushing you to hell
I might never regret helping you
I might never regret doing stupid things for you

But most of all
I might never regret making you hate me for all the things I do for you

For now
I don't know what I can do anymore
I don't know what I should do anymore
I don't know what you really want me to do
I don't know what you actually need me to do

But I guess I could understand a little now
The trouble with love is.... Its stronger than your pride right?
It probably screwed you up inside
When you think you got it all figured out
You are back to square one again...
Your world is shattering
and your heart is always in pain
It got you crazy right?
Trust me, it got me crazy too


Go look for a help
Cause I'm no longer capable to meet your needs anymore
Cause I'm getting impatient seeing careless you are
Cause I can't care if you don't
Cause if you don't love yourself, I can't love you too
Cause I don't know what is the best for you anymore
Cause I think what you need is not me
So just go look for anyone but me
Cause you just don't need me anymore.

For memory sake.. ^^

I believe one day I will get damned for editing people's picture without permission...

Lets not give a shit about it for now and be crazy =D

Happy Birthday JMKY!

Hey babe!
I told you I had every intention to make your birthday hat..
it's just that it didn't work out all the way due to time management issue..
I dropped the idea and got u a fast-hat instead....
=P

Hopefully next year you would finally manage to get you kid's party dream come true!...^^

=D

Ok la....
after posting that blogpost..
I noticed many people could actually relate to my issue...
I learnt a lot!
Firstly
I think from my previous post, I've seen the issue in a oversensitive point of view...
After a two days.. I noticed it's no big deal after all..
It was me who think I'm an antisocial
Successfully putting me in an antisocial side..
=D

If I open up...
Things would be better too.. No?

=D Be happy
No worries

What is college like?

I walked into an environment where I'm not familiar with.
Strolling pass tall gigantic normal people who keeps staring and me..
Keeping my heads held low and my eyes forward
And I know..
I have returned to college...

The excitement on seeing old friends in college doesn't seem to bubble off the tip of my head...
It feels like first day of college all over again..
Just that this time...
It felt a lot worse knowing I have been there for 4 months by now...

Antisocial
I saw my classmate..
My emotions got messed up
I pretend like I'm looking for people
But I hope someone will just recognize me

Antisocial
I keep my smiles up
My emotions still uncertain...
Its like they can read my emotionless face or my weird gesture
My insecurity hikes up to another higher level

Antisocial
Why can't I tell u how I feel?
Where do I belong to?
What am I doing here?
When will this be over?
Who can I look forward to?
How to feel less miserable than this?

(This is not a poem so fuck off)
Why..
Do I feel this...
Feelings of being drown
Over and over again..
When will I be immune?

Alvin and the Chipmunk 2!

You know what..
I just noticed
Whenever I'm with Siew Wei in the cinema, if she is laughing, I want to laugh too ^^
No matter how bad the movie or manga is!
Imagine I actually opened a random manga link and chatted with her about it..
It suddenly became so fun and entertaining, even if its normal...

With that said...
Alvin and the Chipmunk 2 in my opinion is bad...
Aside from being completely meaningless, it's just another sequel which is not worth making, or should I say it's made to absorb popularity from the prequel.

The villain was pathetic..
Alvin was predictable.. The whole I'm going to follow the jocks and forget about my brothers...
How many thousand time have we seen that already?
Most of the song were out of place....
Aside from "Right round" when they were spinning in the bowl....

Toby= completely useless character....
So much of the character, story lines and scenes were unbearable..
I truly enjoyed the first one, which was refreshing to see singing chipmunks!
But chipettes?

The story is just too dull...
Well, thumbs up on the adorable side of the chipmunks... "THEADORE" only.. cough cough
Thank god I watched it with Siew wei, or I might had cry all the way out of the cinema..