The world is not ready to accept prostitution legally.

My honest confession.
Last night I received a few less favorable comments regarding my post on prostitution and the whole situation eventually drove me to temporary hid that post.
I guess I don't take constructive criticism or negative comments nicely.
It hits my pride and ego.
More importantly, I'm lack of confidence in my writing in a way I wrote to please the others.
Which I think was the reason why I eventually stopped blogging way before because I started to write to please and the whole phenomena was tiring and unoriginal.

But in this world, readers and audience are not unified to say only yes or not.
Nor would all my writings be accepted as it is.
Not am I a dedicated researcher.
I'm just another little unimportant girl on this earth wanting to share her thoughts.
I guess since I started writing more frequently recently, blogging became brand new to me all over again and the idea of dislike became more prominent.

I wrote the prostitution post out of personal opinion on what I see on tv, not for political or religious disagreement.
I did no research, survey or whatever detailed investigation.
I wrote based on my personal opinion and in my support of freedom of speech.
Thank you Satya for reminding me once again, this is my blog.
I write whatever I want.
Confidence is bloody important no?

Anyway, those criticism I got for my post was not all that bad.
I guess in the world where freedom of speech exist, they have the right to write less favorable comments on my writings and after thinking through, I truly appreciate some sort of respond that demand for my attention.

I will keep writing....
Voicing out with clarity...
If you dislike my writings...
BRING IT ON cause I acknowledge them!

_____________________________________________________________
As for the prostitution post.

1. Legalizing prostitution enhance HIV.
- U have your point there. Obviously when sex are out for sales, sexual activities would definitely increase and hence chances of HIV is a lot higher as well. But do you know, some countries that legalized prostitution do not only take tax from this type of industry, but they also made it mandatory to have body check up from time to time and other benefits from the Ministry of Health. They respect these woman and provide them the means for protection. This is the type of consideration and mentality I wish most people would have. Hate the profession, not the people. Even if it is illegal, brothel still exist and women are still spreading HIV just without protection and higher risk. If that is your preference. GO AHEAD! In that way, our health ministry will never have their hands to make a change or challenge themselves to transform this industry to be a safer industry because we all love to just trash problems and not solve them and make everyone else involved suffer from it. Tie the problem up in a bag and just pray one day it would die. Face it, the bag of ours is filled with holes.

2. The pimps are the one getting the best out of it.
- Undeniable. Yes. Its like gift to them. But they have to spend more if its legalized. More consideration and laws to follow. It make it compulsory for them to provide protection to these prostitutes in order to be in this business. The need to be clean, healthy and safe became more important. I think it is a little naive and risky to think that probably when there are more licensed prostitution, these people would share the same responsibility to wipe illegal brothel off the market because it is damaging their business. But this vision and risk may bring us to the next level of better society. Use poison to fight poison. I felt this point deserve a fruit for thoughts.

3. Human trafficking increases thanks to legalizing prostitution.
- True. Facts have proven in places like Netherland and England have higher rate of human trafficking and coincidentally both country have legalized prostitution. From the way I see it, there are no connection at all. If human trafficking are increasing, this only means that the demand for human capital is a lot larger and our country's security capability is put to the test and they are obviously rotten.
Lets assume in this isolated island X, they are lacking of people to dig this gold mine. The one who discovered it is not willing to pay tax or expensive employee to dig this gold. So imagine if 1, 000,000 human are needed for cheap labor to gain the massive profit, you think the underground people won't come and kidnap everyone from everywhere for cheaper labor? should we destroy the gold mine once again the way we criminalized prostitution in hope that it would scare these people from gaining the best benefit from it? NO. Are you all naively thinking that by criminalizing prostitution makes a difference and be we all silently believe that our country's security is good because its easier? Spoon feeding is bad and this is the example of it. The country's lack of capability to accept the change in culture should not be blamed on brothel.

There are many things I wish to write about this but I felt constant debate with no interactions with listeners is a little pointless. If you are interested or disapprove of my stand, COMMENT PLEASE so i would know you actually cared and I would actually take a little effort to do more research.

but as far as I'm concern
Most society are not prepared for brothel yet.
Their government security and health team are not prepared to accept this culture and hence more problems would grow especially when it was legalized out of rash decision.

Irony is, prostitution is probably the oldest profession.
It should be in their hands already if the topic have been widely discuss for the past millennium.

The problem is not many of us talk about prostitution.
We don't discuss, we don't care and we don't know.

The debate of prostitution is constantly linked with religion, moral, values, feminism, liberation and civilization that pulled us back because all these factors are righteous, noble and beautiful.
Its like using mud to fight with gold. U lost without a battle. Get me?

It makes prostitution a taboo.
It makes prostitution a shameful subject.

The men laugh about it, woman shy away from it and kids are forbidden to discuss about it.
In such interaction over something so serious, you think we will ever get anywhere?
No where.

Debate about it.
Throw philosophical opinions on it.

Don't come telling me I should think before I write and tell me to follow the law blindly.
Read before you comment and it would be much appreciated if you are willing to correct me at where I wrote wrongly or biasly.

I don't assure you I would change my opinions but I truly appreciate your piece of mind in this matter.
Anonymous and RS's opinions are much appreciated. I thank you for your time to voice your opinion and I have nothing against the way you think. Your comments drove me nuts and I loved it =D

I don't expect Malaysia to accept prostitution at all because apparently it is a sin for the Islamic Religion to be exposed to such services. Malaysia is a multi racial culture and we should respect their believes even if its not ours hence it is a form of respect to decline such culture because it clashes with their religious beliefs. The form of respect and harmony is a form of civilization I truly appreciates.

Our society could probably never accept prostitution legally.
But like I formally stressed on my first post on this matter, I focus more on mentality.
The way we look at prostitution.
I find legalizing prostitution changes the impression on them and people involved.
But it doesn't mean there are no sacrifices.
Prostitution is a HUGE TABOO subject and when there are culture changes, there are changes with everything else as well.
I said legalizing prostitution would make a change in impression, it doesn't mean this decision is absolutely good and harmless.





The world is not ready to accept prostitution legally.

22 Years old Malaysian Boy countdown to his death on facebook

Girl: Tell me you would die for me....
Guy: "I would die for you, for love, for us."

How many of you could say that and do just that?

On last Wednesday 8 of December 2010, sharp at 11.15pm, a man called Alviss Kong, 22 years old boy had posted the following on his facebook profile.

Alviss Kong

Count Down For 45 Mins...What should i do in this 45 mins ?

He was waiting for 00.00 of Thursday, 9 of December to end his life for a girl name Binluii Binluii, or what he would fondly call, Devil Bin.

Many friends of Alviss thought it was a prank and slept after telling him not to spam their notification with millions of people commenting on his status.

Many took it as a joke, a sign of desperation for attention, prank etc.

However, this man was not kidding when he said I'm going to die for you.

He took his life at sharp 00.00. His family rushed him to the hospital but the medical theme couldn't do much and his life ended after 6 hours of emergency rescue. Pronounced dead at 9am.

A healthy young man of 22 years old, have just left all of us, sacrificing his life for a girl he dated for less than a year.
Cases like this leave readers and friends dumbfounded. I'm pretty shocked myself and find it hard to consume.
The first impression I had over this matter were like

1. Why can't he moved on to other girls? He is good looking. People will throw themselves to him.
2. Was it worth killing himself for a relationship? What did the girl do to him or what have he not gotten from life?
   
3. What did the girl have that the others don't?
4. He got no life or something?
5. Is there nothing else to live for?
   

Many of you may think it is the girl's fault for his death.
I'm sure even his ex herself will be pretty haunted by the whole scenario.
Maybe she said something that led him to his death or maybe not.
But I don't think the girl should take any responsibility for his death because the life was his.
He took his own life and he felt it's worth it.
She gave both of them a chance and it didn't work out. It is an end for them. Not their life, just the relationship.
For herself, leaving was only the rational choice.
Questions like if she is that pretty that he had to die for her, or her personalities or her skills shouldn't be questioned to begin with....
Her identity doesn't matter.
At one point, I actually felt the guy wanted to screw her life.
Announcing the fact that he is dying and it is for her.
Playing the pitiful role as he said "Don't Blame Her."
But if he really wanted to die for her, why announce it on facebook and put your facebook on public?
Let everyone share the minutes of your pain.
Let everyone and especially the media to hunt her down asking for her opinions.
Let everyone to know he is suffering and even took the time to take picture of his face crying for her.

All these before he died...
The only outcome you could get from this is having this topic advertised everywhere for the world to see, sympathize him and feel utter hatred for her.
What was he really dying for? To make her miserable? To think its all her fault?

I'm not sure myself.
but I doubt he wanted to screw her life.
Maybe, just maybe, he wanted to let her know how much he loved her?
How he could share this every moment towards his death thinking about nothing but her.
Maybe at that point, he didn't gave enough thoughts for everything in his life because she is part of his day.
I think it is a shame and he shouldn't die but I have friends who actually felt these heartbreaking moments before.
They all have the feeling of complete defeat and lost where ending seems like the only best solution.
They have said stuff like how this is the end of it all.
I've always brush them off thinking it is just bullshit because they should know life is more important than that.
But I'm wrong. After reading about him, I felt I've committed terrible mistakes in handling these matters. Thank goodness all my friends are still healthy alive =)

The mistake? Generalizing what is important in life for everyone.
I'm still searching for my answer in life hence I technically do not know what is worth dying for in life.
Maybe these people in relationship found their purpose in life.
Found the reason to die for.
Maybe what I've seen as fickle nothingness is actually something to these people?
and vice versa, maybe what I value is a joke for everyone else as well?

Don't underestimate the power of commitment to die for something or someone.

People could really release all their inner worries and leave this world for this very commitment.
But I think if we could show them and convince them that there is something more worth living for, those people who had suicided may still be with us today. Or at the very least, know we have tried...

My main point is, don't neglect your friends, family or even a mere stranger especially when they are in depression. No matter how stupid their reason for depression or dying is for you, put yourself in his or her shoe thinking about those things that you would die for. Its just the same, but different values.

What these people need is a purpose in life, love and the urge to live.
Life is beautiful.

Despite the fact that I support the fact that people have the right to take their life, I think this privilege should be reserved to those people who really came to the point of life where they think its ok to leave now.
Not leave with more troubles for the others...
It's very hard to explain my stand in suicidal attempts. So I will leave it to some other time...

All and all, I still feel bloody sorry for the guy. I don't think you are stupid for suiciding. At one point, I do think you are a complete genius to drive the girl mad by letting the other people to do it on your behalf. It is diabolical and one heck of an evil plan.

But I doubt you would do that. Maybe there is something you truly see in her or feel for her.
Rest in peace.

view his profile on http://www.facebook.com/alvissk#!/alvissk?v=wall

view part of his blog on: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:XlRM3e787ZoJ:alvisskong.blogspot.com/2010/08/unforgettable.html+lowyat+alviss&cd=6&hl=en&ct=clnk

Power of google is amazing.
Joshua Ong wrote a very clear and detailed blog on it. Besides the age and a few mistaken details, everything else are well written =D
http://joshuaongys.com/2010/12/19-yrs-old-malaysian-alviss-kong-jumped-off-building-committing-suicide-after-leaving-facebook-message/

Legalize Prostitution

Out of the blue.
I feel like voicing out my opinion regarding the prostitution iindustry.
Not against them, but to support such career because I feel there isn't a harm there.
It's safer in many sense if it is legalized.
Why prostitution?
I thought about it years ago but it became clearer to me today when I linked it with ambition.
How the concept of ambition and prostitution collides when people are not given the chance to choose.
_________________________________________

"What do I want to be when I grow up?"
I'm sure many of you, excluding Satya, probably had considered a few different ambitions before landing at where you are today.

What, who, when, how, and why.
Questions of self identity.
The person you are going to be.
Have you ever asked yourself that?

I would make a daring assumption and assume almost everyone has an image they see in themselves that define them.
May it be good or bad, that "self" exist....

But at times, luck may run down and we turn out to be exactly the person we don't wish to be.
We may not be able to be who we wanted to be last time,
but most of us are fortunate enough to at least exist and be recognized as somebody today.
To earn a sense of belonging.
The comforting feeling of identity.

Some of us are not so fortunate.
Some of us, are seen as the trash of the society.
Our existence, because of a career choice, will lead us to extreme discrimination.
Look at President Bush
Osama Bin Laden
Lindsey Lohan
Sometimes, there are even people out there who are devoted to exterminate us.

One of the occupation that 100% doesn't get the top priority in everyone's heart is prostitutes.
Prostitutes.
Whores
Hookers
Sluts
Chicken
So many labels are attached to this category of people, I couldn't even remember them all.
Besides their customers and their employers, their existences turn a smile upside down.
Why do the word prostitute plays out in such negative connotation?

I watched a drama today where they talked about a prostitute murder case.
On usual gruesome cases of a murder, people would have mixed feelings of fear, sympathy, hatred and lost.
But because the victim is a prostitute, the public seems to be agreeable with the murderer.
I heard the most unethical and disgusting words spouted from the mouth of the public.

"They deserve it. A bunch of trash."
"They shouldn't have been there to begin with."
"If they weren't prostitutes, they won't be killed."
"The price u pay for being a whore."
"I was so embarrassed when my child asked me what are they! Thank god they are not around."

Danger and value of a murder suddenly falls into the subjective category.
Where it can be right or wrong when it obviously supposed to be
WRONG and ONLY WRONG to begin with.


I wonder why is it so wrong to be a prostitute.
It is just another career.
They gave up their body to earn a living.
There are expertise, effort, price, payment and customer.
They are providing a form of service.
Its a career. Get me?
Just without those expensive education that leads you to no where.

They are satisfying guys and sometimes even girls sexual needs in return for money.
What is wrong with that?
Don't tell me it is shameful, degrading and insulting to do so cause I've seen lots of "freelance" with no labels doing exactly just that today.

Like how a guy needs to buy house, cars and diamond to get to a girl.
A big shopping spree to get sex.
Some are even at the standard where a few glasses of beer would do for a one night stand.
See how ppl pay for sex?
At times, I think its just more expensive if they go for those freelance hookers..

Prostitutes are degrading?
These freelancers are getting the best out of it without labels
and many girls are following their footsteps indirectly.
Freelances, like I said.

Screw the stereotypical impression on prostitute!
I wonder why are people against prostitute at times.
HIV? Pride? Trust?

The way I see it, if you can't handle your man,
its prolly not the prostitute fault because they are only making business.

Do we blame cigarette for lung cancer?
Do we blame education when your child can't get a job?
Do we blame food for being anorexic?
Do we blame the traffic for us being late?

It is the screwed up mentality that is pushing us to blame everyone because it's convenient to just blame.
I think.
Prostitutes shouldn't be illegal.
It may not be an ideal career.
Most I believe are desperate and are at the end of their wits.
There are many girls who ended up as prostitutes for the wrong or right reasons.
But banning it doesn't help these desperate people to get through their life any easier.
They are only more exposed to danger for doing it illegally.

Mentality should be reformed.
Don't waste life.

Leave that sit for the fat man!

I think.
People underestimated the need for proper descriptions...
In a society with dominating visual invasion, where everything are portrayed in pictures and arts, words may seem stupidly unnecessary.
But I think this is the reason for extensive miscommunication.
Words are powerful, underrated, and carelessly used.
I'm not kidding you!
It is horrifyingly influential in our everyday life!

You know why?
Because not everyone is a designer.
Not everyone, comprehend artistic creation the same way.
A picture says a thousand words, like people have always been saying.
A THOUSAND WORDS.
That's a 3 pages of A4 papers filled with font size 12 Times New Roman words with 1.5 spacing!
That is a huge number of words to consume, don't you think?

I take at least 2 days to write all those words at times.
Imagine your brain have to consume all that from just a picture!

I saw this simple message in an LRT star today when I was taking the train home.
Clearly, with an average mentality, you would assume
the priority seating zone is saved for any parent with a small kid, a pregnant lady, a lame person, and a person who is physically challenged (kat kaki).
That was my first sweep generalization.
Aka, simply assuming =D

When I saw the sign board, I quickly picked my legs up and moved to a place where I actually belonged,
Standing in a small corner.
=(

As I moved away, ironically, there were healthy moving young adults casually taking my previous spot when it was clearly not mine or theirs to begin with!
How are they different from me that makes them think they can just sit!
HOW RUDE RIGHT!
Tsk tsk tsk...

Then I looked back at the message, wondering what went wrong that these people couldn't understand the picture the way I understood the picture.

After a few minutes of staring, my frustration went off and I finally understood why those people were casually sitting on those spots!

Nope, they didn't miss the message.
Nope, they are not rude.
They are just following the sign board!
I looked again back at the passenger sitting on the priority zone.
His belly was bigger than my dad's.

Big bulging belly, and sitting.
THAT FITS INTO PICTURE TWO RIGHT?

I mean, the picture didn't clearly state what those picture stands for.
It can mean anything!

On first impression, I tot the little figure sitting on the another person is a child sitting on his or her parent.
How simple minded right?
If you think a little deeper with your modern mentality,
it could mean....

A lady sitting on a man!
Or two people casually sharing sits!

Why must it be a child and their parent?
Can't the guy be a pedophile and the small figure on him is his partner?
Won't it be relevant that the priority zone is catered for people who are willing to share the sit with another person sitting on their lap? MAKE SENSE RIGHT?

I guess those healthy men sitting on those sits were just waiting for some lucky chick to share the sit....
http://www.meetnowlive.com/blog/events/fat-tuesday-new-york-bar-specials/

And what's with the big belly picture with lines?
How sure are you it means pregnant lady?
The stickmen got some femininity meh?

Nope!
It can mean a really really fat man or women (no gender bias kan) with a big belly.
The sign is trying to say, save the sits for fatter people because they couldn't stabilize their weight if the train swing from left to right!
Fat people have weaker legs because they have to balance on extra weigh. It is scientifically proven.
Or it may mean that it is not healthy for any who have just filled up their stomach to stand because it is bad for digestion!
MAKE SENSE RIGHT!

Like I sad... A thousand word.

THE THIRD PICTURE IS JUST PLAIN "Lame People Discrimination."
I don't recall lame people are 100% hunched back.
Are the designer trying to say that these lame people are so weak they can't even hold their heads up high?
Are the designer trying to say that they PITY THESE LAME PEOPLE FOR SUCH LAME REASON?
Can't the stick man be sitting straight?
What's with the hunch?
Walao....
Not right lor...

The last one is a bit obvious but I still think brains that are more active than mine could think beyond the crane. =D
All I thought was people with knee length boots deserve a good spot for their terrible fashion =P

What I'm trying to say is....
Good job designers...
I find your sign board extremely hilariously especially when I was in such moody mood.
But I think a little more words could be more effective to carry out your meaning cause people using the public transport these days are obviously not comprehending and respecting your message.
I think, words would help.
Please hire mass commers like me and put us into good use in explaining your message =D LOLZ

What about you guys?
Any inspiration from those four figures?

Diabetic Sweetness

Weee I made dessert! =D
It taste better than ice cream ^^
But M&M still wins
Cooking fruits seems stupid...
BUT TASTE DAMN GOOD HOT!

Don't try this at home!

I have been reading list of magazines for fun these days.
And I saw one particular article on Detoxifying from cleo...
The article is pretty interesting in a sense that it doesn't seems like a proper life to eat and live that way =P
BUT BUT BUT..
it is the result and healthier life we hope for kan?
So I thought of trying one of their recipes for detoxification.

AND LOOK ABOVE! THAT IS MY HASIL KERJA...
I'm still having doubts on drinking it....
You know why?
Ingredients: CELERY, apple, lemon, carrot, GINGER, and BEETROOT (which explains the color).

Smells like crap...
=(
Who wanna share it with me?

Scamper!

I just love Carol Lee Siew Wei =D
Hahaha this girl is superbly adorable.
I'm a messy and an unorganized person.
So if you were to give me something, don't expect it back in a perfect form if you don't warm me before hand.
This girl noticed I left her blue elephant in my cupboard unattended for few weeks and probably told me about it for weeks, but she never stopped giving me souvenirs!
HAHA I remember she warned me, I just couldn't remember how to deal with it. XD
So this time, when she returned from Penang and got me this cute little souvenir, she sarcastically said "I wonder if I will still see it next time..."
LOLZ
I quickly replied, "You see, I was thinking the exact same thing. So no worries, I told myself I'm going to bring it home, so it will definitely be at home =D"

See! Isn't the pen cute!
Look at what is written on it!
SCAMPER!
"At first I saw a monkey shaped pen and it suited u well, that was before I saw 'scamper' on this one with rabbit on it and I immediately made up my mind!" she said before falling into a hysterical fit of laughter.
HAHA I couldn't help but laugh as well!
Thankfully I see "lovely" written on the pen as well.

I'm sure "lovely" was the main objective right, Carol!
=D
You fool!
Thank you for the lovely pen ^^

ps: I attached the blue elephant to my wallet. So now its at 50/50 risk of being missing with my wallet but at the very least, you will see it more often =D

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

On a completely unrelated chapter,
I fell in love with this scene in the 8.30pm hong kong drama, No regrets!
I felt there is something deep about friendship and trust to be learnt from such drama.

Cast: Kau Ku Liong ( Main lady) and Lau Sing (Main guy)

In an empty street, Kau Ku Liong ran into a phone booth and pushed a few buttons before leaning towards the cold walls, sniffing constantly. She was addicted to the marijuana. The symptoms were showing clearly.
The phone in the police station rang and Lau sing answered the phone but there was no one speaking.
Kau Ku Liong recognized the husky voice of the receiver but made no attempt to reply. This was the voice that told her a week ago he couldn't afford being her friend anymore. He isn't a superman, just an average Joe. Who is he to mess with big guns like her? To support and help her. The voice that once gave her all the confidence and power has now turned into the voice that could only say no. Ironically, in her moments of dismay and lost of hopes, this is the only voice she wished to hear.

"Is this Kau ku liong?" Lau Sing said.

In fear of being found out, she quickly hung up the phone and ran as fast as she could as she find shelter in her car. She cried. She sobbed heavily. Sadness creep into her soul reminding her the fact that she is now officially all alone in this cruel world without a single soul who would listen to her. As if matter couldn't be worse, she is forced to take marijuana just to hide her true intention.
Marijuana is her family business. She hated it. She burnt them all up despite the disapproval of her dad. She would do anything just to have that moment again. Taking marijuana to create the false imagery of her own may be tough today, but this girl live a big dream. A true heroin indeed.

But could she pull through when she is already half dying in addiction?

She soon found the energy to drive back to her office where she satisfy her disgusting addiction.
Lau Sing was hiding near her office as he watched this noble friends of his doing things she swore she will never do. Her entire image and her actions were so unfamiliar to him, he couldn't tell who was she anymore.

Another night for two sorrowful souls.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lau Sing finds it harder and harder to run away from Kau Ku Liong. He ended up pulling her out from all the marijuana craps and brought her into a church.
He wanted to help her get over the addiction.
Telling her, "it takes only 2 hours to go through the terrible pain and you will be better soon."
She screamed, shouted and cried in pain and agony. She needed the marijuana badly.
Lau Sing kept reminding her that he is her friend and he is here to help her.

Her voice of hope finally came back to help her.
This man is probably the only man who understood her intention and plans is finally back.
She looked into his eyes which are filled with sincerity and care.
She knew she doesn't deserve this. She couldn't drag another person to hell with her.

Concealing the last evidence of desperation, she pushed him aside and demanded him to go away.
She reminded him that she isn't someone he could afford to mess with. Spitting out every words he said to her that broke her heart, to push this friend further away. After much said, she closed the door that separates the both of them, hoping that he could never find her.


----------------------------

Lau Sing found out that Kau Ku Liong is in trouble. She lost something very precious.
And the next day, Lau Sing showed up with the things she need.


A friend in need needs a friend indeed.
----------------------------

Keng Sein...
There is many things I want to say about this drama, this particular episode.
It doesn't end here...
But I have like 1k worth of assignment due soon.. LOLZ....
So I better stop now....
In summary...

When Kau Ku Liong said I don't friend you. It means I don't want to get you into trouble anymore.
Friends today say I don't friend you. It means they really have no interest of being your friend anymore.
See the difference?
When a friend is in trouble, she looks for a pair of genuine arms of a friend who would hold her tight and tell her everything is ok.
When Kau Ku Liong is in trouble, she shut herself up to avoid causing shits for her friends.

I don't just admire the attitude, I love the author of this script!
How such deep emotion is drawn out from just two characters.. The kinda process I felt worth acknowledging. The kinda complexity and sacrifices that marks the level of a relationship. The building blocks of a true relationships are understanding, sacrifices, understanding and more sacrifices.

Its astonishing to find people getting into relationship these days for fickle reasons. Part of the reason I guess why I'm alone myself.
Cause there isn't a point.
We are all mistaking stupidity for simplicity.
Argh, my lack of vocabulary is killing my self expression.
I'm gonna stop now.

I love this drama
I love the dialogue
I love the girl
I love it all

Every great dream begins with a dreamer

I just love how innovative my dreams could be these days....

////////////////////////////////////////
I was on my bed since 11pm, kicking and turning, trying to get some sleep without the help of panadols.
But sleeping was a little more difficult last night with endless chirping of crickets.
Guess where those little love dolls were hiding........ in my roof.
I figured that out after knocking every possible hollow space in my room.
This is the kinda thing nature gives you when you are struck with fever.

The time seemed like it could go on forever when my heartbeat started to paced up and the temperature of my body increased to an unimaginable degree.

And before I know it, I fell into a deep yet not so peaceful slumber.

I was awaken in a room filled with flying A4 papers in a run down factory.
There were faces in everyone of those A4 paper, faces that were unfamiliar to me.
The floor was flooded with papers and I naturally picked one by one up and filed them up in a folder before sitting in front of a fire place.
I was rather emotionless, just wanted to sit there and watch the fire burning.

I caught myself whispering, "the incubator is beautiful."
Honestly, I have no idea what the hell is an incubator but the word just appeared and I didn't question it.
Out of the blue, my phone rang.
I ignored it once and it turned out to be a mistake.
Cause the room suddenly filled with lots of different phone ring tones jamming in my brain, challenging me not to answer it.
Given up to pressure, I hesitatingly took out my phone and found only one miss call, from a guy I would rather not speak to.
The phone and the surrounding suddenly fell into silence and I heard the crack of an opening door from the back of my head.
I turned around and to my disgust, it was the guy on the phone that I have been avoiding.
I backed up nearer to the incubator, just trying to keep my distance away from him.

Well, avoiding leads to no avail as he pace nearer, decreasing the gap between us.
I was definitely in fear as I started to feel pain in my stomach and headache all over.
He smirked at my misery, spitting out disgusting words to my face "You know I will find you.."

Somehow, that exact phrase stabbed me at the right spot, giving me all the confidence to challenge him.
Instead of backing up, I pushed my body nearer to his, catching him off guard before giving him a flying kick that sent him straight to the incubator. (Walao, gym is helping!)
His body was covered with flames and I laughed hysterically at his pain and burning hair.
He cried and screamed in pain like a bitch. What a joyful sight.
I think I'm a little bipolar because in between the endless laughter, I started crying.

"What have i done, I killed someone!"

Suddenly it became my turn to turn hysterically as the fire licked every part of his body, silencing that noisy bastard.
I wanted to run away as fast as I could but my legs gave up and I sat there for hours as I watch him disappear.
Then two papers were released from the chimney of the incubator.
And I saw my friend's face on it. Both of them don't look like his face at all. Both of them are a lot older, filled with wrinkles and uglier. One older than the other.
One of them says 30 and another says 60...
At the top of the paper, it says receipt.
Well it is a pretty portrait even for the ugliest face but I just couldn't figure out what it meant by receipt and the whole faces.
Then the third paper came a long and I thought it probably says 90.
I turned it around and found my face on it, it is still young......

Before I could figure out anything, I was forced to wake up, wanting to go toilet badly. Bloody hell. I went to the toilet quickly and came back to my room, writing down the few words I remember from the dream "Incubator, midlife horror, when we are old and three different faces"

Few hours later when I was clearly awake, I looked up the dictionary, trying to find out what is an incubator.

Turns out it is a machine that just born babies sleeps in if they are weak or the place where they heat eggs up. LOLZ Dreams...

HAHAHHAHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHHAH
THERE IS NO FIRE IN AN INCUBATOR YOU FOOL!
GG



//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
I'm done with the post.
Just wanna say sorry for those who couldn't understand what I wrote...
It happens all the time... =D

Back to Basics!

I just love learning things from basics!

So why basics?
It happened like this....

I had this chat with Carol Lee the other morning over coffee regarding world peace and national economy health; debating endlessly on our own point of view... Educational conversation no?

Haha

Nah, we had our usual girly chat on the Monday morning.
Start with the usual agenda; how's ur relationship life coming along, any highlights and whatever that comes along with it.

And one particular topic made to the highlight of the day.

Topic: Valedictorian.

How many of you are still inspired to be the valedictorian of the year?
Be featured on tv, newspaper and magazine.
Recognize by people beyond your social network.
But most of all, challenging the one and only worthy competitor, yourself.

Valedictorian was a goal in life that I've completely ignored ever since I entered college.

Valedictorian, perfection in scores and grades.
It is too much of a task for Lim Keng Sein.
My grades or life have never been consistent.
It can be good today, terrible tomorrow.
At times I will beat myself up wondering how come my best is always the second best!

Talking to Carol made me realized a few things about myself.

• I procrastinate (this is too obvious)
• I got the self esteem of a turtle. Hide for nothing.
  
• I never practice any basics or follow the step by step instructions in everything I do. (Look at my math) =P
• Most of my creation are free styled (whether they are good or bad, you can tell the work of lim keng sein just by looking at it. it can be my art, math, writing, inspiration, assignments and life).
• I take up many things, but never a master of any. Don't expect me to teach you things I get recognized for cause not I kedekut ilmu, I really don't know how to teach or how I get into that position. I just do them for a short period of time, and forget them the next. Memory power of a full cup.
• I don't work well with procedure or time table.
• My attention span is short. Imagine, micro mini short. Yes...

Trust me, all these flaws, one way or another, I'm aware of their existence.
But because my life still goes on well and I still make short successes, I guess I kinda belittle their influence in my life.

These things have in fact made me the jack in "Jack of all trades, Masters of none."
I'm tired of living like a half bucket of water.
Multi tasking is no longer fun.
For once I want to take up all the basics, practice them well, remember them and then enhance their capability.

• I want to finally lose those weight with proper training.
• I want to finally finish my assignment without googling for the basic again and again.
• I want to finally paint a picture that looks good, and know I have no problem drawing the same thing again.
• I want to finally look at an empty sheet of paper without thinking oh crap when will I be done, I want to look at it and think, this paper is going to be filled with a HD worthy essay.
• I want to finally be able to give a proper explanation for the things I do, instead of saying, "I just do la... It's random" NO ITS NEVER RANDOM!
  

Damn that feels good!
Those Wants will have to wait for now!
I don't want to rush things like I used to.
I'm going to master all the basics, keep a consistency in my training and see the changes!

This will be the first, for the past 19 years of my life, for me to finally take up the challenge to do things in a slower but proper pace.

LETS HOPE ALL THE BEST FOR ME! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE


This is what me and Siew Wei thought of.
Guess this is the basic for what?
Mona lisa face!?
This is the basic for my future portrait drawing.
I shall draw Siew Wei's face one day when I have enough practices!
For now its back to cubes and squares for me!

Bloody hell, it looks like egg! LOLZ
BACK TO TRAINING!

I just love Proton Wira!

I just love Proton Wira!

Last Monday, my car overheated early in the morning when I was on the way to college!
I seriously don't want to blame my gender for my lack of knowledge on these issues, but honestly, I'M SUCH A GIRL!
I didn't know what to do T.T

My car overheated when I was stuck in the jam on the way to college.
Normal people would stop to let it cool down right,
but nooooooooooooooooo.
I think my inner self thinks I'm too cool for it.
Cause when I see all the car jamming right at my back, I panicked and forced my car to move all the way to college from Midvalley!

THAT WAS A LONG RIDE MIND YOU!
I saw my exhaust giving out soot like nothing else and I knew I was in deep shit but everyone was using emergency lane to skip the jam... so yah..

Like I said, deep shit.

But I'm thankful my car made it near to college when it finally gave away its last breath.
It was stuck in the middle of a junction but thankfully a nice indian man stopped by to push my car aside so I could walk to my college and call for help.

Oh btw, I didn't bring my phone of all day to college. HAHAHAHAHA
The whole process of "cleaning up" my car troubled many people...

My college buddies, Jinny, Lenny, Aidy, and Kai Lee were there early and they offered to help!
but being girls, all of just just stood in front of my car wondering what to do.
Ah Yang (Eequin's Bf) on the other hand helped me to wake my brother up =D

Eventually the people from the neighborhood helped me to get the mechanics and I had super savers, Darren and Kenji there to console this poor soul from killing myself from the inside =D

Darren even bought me baskin robbins ice cream!
HAHA life indeed lighten up..
In moments of darkness I'm glad I have good friends I could depend on despite being a complete jackass =D

I had to trouble my brother to bring me home from college after everything =(

When I got my car back from the mechanic, I started pampering my car with all the love in the world to express my apology as an insensitive owner.

• I drove my car at the speed of 80 only.
• I made sure I'm on the right lane as much as possible.
  
• I took my car out for a car wash and vacuum...
• I cleaned all the trash from the car.
• I fixed the cable that I broke few months ago by purchasing new screws for it! So from now on anyone who needs some cable, KENG SEIN IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE...
• I cleaned my but and filled it with proper carpet, water, umbrellas, and some food supplies incase I get stuck in the middle of the road again =P
  

SEE! All ready to be used!
I have seriously never seen it clean before =D
Even the tire is polished after being coated with few layers of dust!
See ^^ Shiny shiny

I'm glad I have my car back.
The whole experience made me a lil more sensitive towards people.
A lil more appreciative towards people and especially motorcyclists =D
and a little more careful with my car =D

On the random side of the world,
This is my little drawing after not drawing for more than half a year...
=D
I started with the eye balls but I couldn't remember how to draw a lion's nose so I drew a dragon nose instead... But I didn't know how to draw a dragon head so I drew a lion head in the end...

Yah... Thank goodness I'm not in the design line..
Who knows, a milk bottle might turn out to be a car ^^